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How I'm Overcoming Self-Doubts

1:43 AMKene Kingsley


Ever had that scenario where you have drafted all your work, plans and ideas, then for a moment you begin to have self-doubts, and you ask yourself; 'Can I really do this.? or is this one of my wishful thoughts'?

To be honest, I've felt that way for a really long period of time. I wouldn't even lie about the fact that despite being a die-hard optimist, I always let my reality get in the way of things. The sad part of this scenario is that I end up dropping everything, only to regret why I neglected it all in the first place.

...And this cycle kept going on and on. 

 Self-doubt basically is the lack of confidence in oneself and one's abilities. It is that sense of uncertainty that always pops up when you either want to get something done, or you wan to try out a new idea. 
My issue with self-doubts is that it seems like I was doing just enough within my capacity, and making any attempt to take it to the extra mile would just get me lost in a whirlwind of "What ifs". 

'What if it's just a waste of my time.?'

'What if it doesn't turn out right.?'

'What if I fail?' 

I can recall how these have made me lose a lot of opportunities to grow and be better, all because i doubted how much I was capable of doing. I've had days when I was excited and confident about my work and creativity, but on other days, I just find myself slipping into that rut. 

As i always say, I'm a work in progress, and being a work in progress implies that in my flawed life journey, it's a continuous process of learning and unlearning things in order to become a better individual. With that in mind, I'd like to share Six ways at which i learned how to get out of that rut.  

ACCEPT THAT YOU'RE NOT ALONE:

Everyone at some point or the other has had reasons to doubt their creativity, so I've come to accept that this is not an issue unique to me. I recall I was listening to Walk On Water by Eminen and Beyonce, and he reflected on his insecurities and the pressures that he's dealing with in order to keep up with his creativity and all, and in the broader sense of things, its safe to say that having self-doubts is not peculiar to anyone. Its okay to have self doubts, just don't spend so much time sitting and acting on it.

STOP OVERTHINKING THINGS:

I literally have to scream this at myself most times. Sometimes, its not a question how much I can do, its a question of believing that I have all it takes to make it work, and have to forcefully stop myself from thinking about "what exactly could go wrong.?"and forge ahead. Everything may not turn out as I expected it to, but spending time and energy thinking of what could be wouldn't make it any better.

DO MORE CREATIVE WORK:

This is one surefire way I've learned on how to get out of self-doubt. When I sense that I'm on the verge of questioning my capacities, I just try and do something more creative and energetic to get that line of thought out of my head. Its some sort of a reverse psychology for me, where I just take things up a notch when I feel uneasy about what I'm currently doing, or best still, i attempt the idea from another angle/perspective.

 

KILL THE COMPARISON:

This is one major issue that i used to struggle with for a while. I once talked about the need to embrace your pace and use another's yardstick to measure your life. Eventually, i realized that the weird thing about comparing myself with someone else is that at some point in time, I fail to realize that our narratives, backgrounds, and experiences are different, so why should I even see my life through someone else's lenses.
Doesn't make any sense, right .?

WRITE ABOUT IT: 

I discovered journaling mid-last year, and the only thing that feels better than sharing your thoughts on paper would be ice-cream on a weekend (... or bank credit alert.). Keeping a journal where you can actually document your thoughts and feelings is quite a good way of letting it all out and getting out of self-doubt. You even get flashes of ideas when you document how you feel about an idea or situation. 
 

 LIVE THANKFUL:

 Whenever I have moments where I want to doubt how far I can go, I just sit back and think about how far I've come, and its only a matter of time that it would get better, if only I don't give up on myself. All i need do is to just stay calm and appreciate how much I'm growing and coming to my own person, as I aspire to be better.




Its going to be a gradual process of overcoming this self-doubt, of course there would be times that I'd find myself slipping into this loop, but the beautiful thing about these experiences is that I can always take a glimpse of how I was initially; look at where I am at the moment, and be glad that every life issue that I experience is an indication that anyone and everyone is capable of growing. 
I love sharing real-time issues like these because I believe it could be what someone would need to read at this point in time, and be inspired to do better. Inspired to be better.


Have you been struggling with Self-doubts.? . 

How do you get over it eventually.? 

Do share with me your experiences and how you deal with them...

Merci,
Kene' Kingsley. 


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 P.P.S : 

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2 comments

  1. Self doubt is something everyone experience or have at one point or the other and this is something we all should be able to overcome or else it eats deep into us and we begin to believe what anyone says about us. What I do is simply to shut myself out from every toxic people in my life briefly and set my priorities right. But on a serious note, I could use an icecream 😀😀.
    I have a post on this too at https://styledbymatreekah.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. that's true Kareemah. shutting toxic people out is another angle to it. Thanks for sharing

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